My spiritual evolution seems to be cosmic & chaotic. I notice, most of the time I place my energy in the seductive physical stage of my yoga practice. Often, taking my focus away from the journey to my perception of form, trying to perfect that pose . But I also find that all four paths of yoga are quietly entering my life, introducing themselves in different forms.. dancing with one another in a flowing lawful shape.
Today; it snowed all day, so I spent most of the daylight writing, researching, working on my upcoming workshop, looking out the window at the snow covered wheat fields, listening to the birds chanting, longing for the spring.
Just before sunset my spine felt compressed, so I threw another log in the fire and dragged my body to the mat .I didn’t set an intention, just wanted to move the stuff around, and let my awareness observe, giving the judge a rest.
Headstand was blissful ; this is a pose that confronts my un-willingness to see the world upside down. Last year this time, I’d avoid it, but recently it has evolved to be the one that I long to do every day .. In fact, most days I use my practice as a warm-up, a preparation for Headstand.
Then came Halasana.. I felt the elasticity of my spine, the lightness of my upper body, the comfort of my neck supporting my torso..
Next one up was Paschimottanasana, sitting forward bend; admittedly one of the most demanding postures of yoga.
I lifted my arms up, looked up, tucked my belly in and folded forward, my head made contact with my knees as the space between my hand and feet closed..Breathe took care of itself. There was no feeling of pain that usually pushes me out of it .The thought of not having pain didn’t quite register either. I was just… in the pose, finding comfort in one of the most challenging asanas for my body.
Flasback of a dream I had a month ago, entered my mind field. In this dream, I was in Paschimottanasana; my alignment looked “correct”, but it was the the pure joy, the sensation of “letting go of everything that has come before” that I remembered the next day and taught to myself “this must be how it feels like to do it properly”. Space and time struggled identifying themselves with that momentary bliss.
Today, sitting forward bend felt just like the one in that dream. The reverence of a deep bow…residing in the beauty of the present moment asking me to honour my experiences…
Our dreams symbolise the memories that we haven’t yet gently released. Just like memories, I was holding on to the idea of getting better at this pose, so it found its place in my subconscious . Today, the reality of my experience in my awake state was just so so similar to the one in that dream..
I can only hope that this was the start of constructing a bridge between my cosmic and chaotic spiritual evolution.
Namaste.
Embracing Grace 